Stranger things
Is appreciating strangers the key to a healthy democracy?
Big Idea of the Week
Do you ever have those weeks where everything you read involves a common theme? For me this week, that theme was: strangers.
The main piece that got me thinking about strangers was Melissa Kirsch’s The Morning Email from the New York Times. She recounted a delightful story about going to a concert solo, and standing in the venue awkwardly waiting for the music to start when a man approached her and a few other solo attenders and “said something to the effect of, ‘We’re all here solo, so we should talk to one another.’”
As she recounts, “The three of us chatted as the place filled up, strangers with a common interest in a musician, which was enough of a connection to pleasantly fill a half-hour.”
A few minutes of pleasant camaraderie instead of mindless phone checking? It doesn’t seem like much, but as with many small changes in our habits, it could add up to a larger shift in our orientation toward the world.
This, at least, is the argument made in another article about strangers, recommended in Kirch’s email, called “Why Strangers Are Good for Us.” The argument of that essay, in a nutshell, is as follows:
Far from random human inconveniences, strangers are actually one of the richest and most important resources we have. They connect us to the community, teach us empathy, build civility and are full of surprise and potentially wonder.
Not all strangers are going to be great, of course. We have all had the awkward seat partner on a plane, or someone who won’t get the hint at a bar, or sure, people who do not have our safety and best interests at heart.
But here’s the thing: strangers don’t have to be great. They still co-exist in the world with us. And keeping strangers’ humanity in mind may be as valuable for democracy as loving them.
I think often of a street sign I used to pass on my way to and from work. It depicted a cyclist and the something along the lines of:
“Share the Road: Everybody is Somebody’s Everything”
[Note: I just did a Google search for this sign, and unfortunately it does not seem to exist on the internet. But I did learn that this is also apparently a lyric in a 2013 song by Chance the Rapper. It is possible the sign was quoting the song, but this was lost on me because I am uncool. 🤷♀️]
Anyway, in honor of strangers, I will close with links to some essays from the Democracy is Hard archives, which reflect in different ways on how more interactions with strangers, whether low-stakes or impactful, could strengthen our democracy.
Something Light
The knitting update nobody asked for
One of my goals this year was to learn how to knit. I wanted to do this for a few different reasons.
The first is that I wanted to give my hands something to do that did not involve my phone. The second is that I wanted to make things, and I don’t bake, so knitting seemed like the next best thing.
Though I did not expect it, one of the best things about knitting is that my cat likes to snuggle up in my lap while I do it (see photo evidence).
It is now May and I can officially proclaim that I am a knitter. I am currently working on this cozy wrap, and I have a blanket project lined up next!